Welcome to my blog on writing, reading, travel, and life in general (Martini drinking). To learn more about me and my novel, check out the links above!

Books

Monday
Apr012013

Writers eat too.

I needed to make something for dessert because a completely mysterious and unknowable force has been eating my chocolate bunny.

It was windy today and I didn't want to go for a run, so my beautiful and talented assistant roommate Becky suggested creating a workout that I could do while baking. Now I just have to figure out how to describe it in MyFitnessPal. The idea originally sprang up when I told her that this glorious and forgiving calorie counter actually lets you list cooking as an exercise activity (after all, you're burning calories with all that standing, and mixing, and bending and reaching).

Note: this workout is not proven to improve your health, figure, or complexion. In fact, the only thing that it has been proven to do so far is, under certain very specific circumstances, make you fatter.

I adapted it from this kind of embarrassingly dull Bon Appetit recipe for banana bread. First of all, no vanilla or nutmeg?! Seriously, is this Soviet Russia? Secondly, I had some pineapple that needed to be used up, so I replaced one of the bananas with that. Thirdly, while I was working, the rest of my chocolate bunny disappeared. Investigators are still examining the scene.

 

Pineapple Banana Breadercise

 

1 3/4 cups flour

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon allspice

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 overripe banana

1 cup pureed pineapple

3 eggs

1 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

3/4 cup oil

 

While gathering ingredients, complete 20 squats.

Preheat oven to 350.

Mash together banana and pineapple. MASH HARD.

Cream together fruit, eggs, sugar, vanilla, and oil. While doing this, complete 20 calf raises.

In a separate bowl, whisk together remaining ingredients. Do the standing tree yoga pose.

Fold the dry ingredients into the wet. If you're especially confident and flexible, throw in 20 lateral lunges.

Pour batter into two greased loaf pans and bake for 40 minutes.

This workout will not in any way whatsoever compensate for the amount of sugar you are about to consume.

Tuesday
Feb192013

A good column for bad advice

Check out my latest on PJ Lifestyle, about the three best advice column questions -- and then submit your own questions for my new advice column. A little bit of bad advice will do you good. Send them to PJMBadAdvice at gmail dot com.

Thursday
Jan312013

"Relaxing" Reading

I've been reading The Right Stuff by Tom Wolfe, a fascinating account of the first American astronauts, told in Wolfe's trademark frenetic style. It's a stellar read...but not exactly relaxing material. In fact, I realized that when I read it right before bed, I turned the light out feeling mildly stressed out and keyed up, as if Wolfe were still narrating things in my head: "And then she puts down the book, this tome, charged with its righteous energy and all these hypermasculine righteous powerstrong men are now in her imagination getting amped up on run-on sentences peppered with italics, alternating their dirty little cusswords with polysyllabic symphonies of overeducated prose!"

So I decided I need more relaxing bedtime reading, and The Right Stuff could wait for the weekends. I cast about my bedroom for something I hadn't read before, because I was craving new material. That narrowed the field significantly, because the books I keep on the bookshelf in my bedroom are my old favorites. I took a mental inventory of the newer acquisitions within arm's reach, so I wouldn't have to go downstairs in the cold.

They included: Angela's Ashes, which is about kids starving to death in Ireland; The Beast in the Garden, a nonfiction account of a recent string of cougar attacks on humans in Colorado (not to be confused with In the Garden of Beasts, the new book about Nazi Germany); and the collected short works of Herman Melville, which are mostly (as far as I've got in it) about people being stranded on desert islands.

I sighed, looking once more at the shelf of old favorites, resigning myself to relaxing with a re-read after all, something soothing, not too thinky...and my eyes alighted on my collection of JD Salinger's works.

I think I need to go to the bookstore. 

 

Monday
Jan212013

Lana Del Rey's relationship advice

I have a new post up on PJ Lifestyle: I Hear You Like Bad Girls Too, a look at Lana Del Rey's music and why it's become such a fad to hate on her. Check it out.

Sunday
Jan062013

The King Must Die

Probably about ten years ago, my dad and I were in a second-hand bookshop in Montpelier, Vermont. It was called Rivendell and I don't remember a lot about it except that it gave me that shivery up-the-back feeling – back then I think I believed books could really contain magic, and I might find one that had an ancient map or a handwritten account of some forgotten crime in the margins.

My dad bought me a book he said he'd read as a teen – Mary Renault's The King Must Die. I was seriously into Greek mythology as any aspiring nerd should be at that age, and my dad told me the book was a retelling of the Theseus myth.

Then as now, I was pretty bad at reading books that were recommended to me. It isn't that I don't believe my friends and relatives when they tell me these books will be good – it's just an inexplicable gut reaction that as soon as I'm told to read a book it plummets to the bottom of my to-read pile. I've dutifully taken that book with me from home to college, to my first apartment, and all the others after it, because my dad gave it to me and because he'd once read it and liked it.

Well, I finally read it. I've been experimentally starving myself of fiction, because I find it hard to write fiction when I'm wrapped in someone else's world. For the last few months I've been reading nonfiction – a biography of Jim Thompson, and a fascinating tale of environmentalism gone wrong – but I've just sent my newest manuscript to my agent and sank my teeth into the first novel I could find: The King Must Die. What a craving.

I found something else inside, that made me remember my childhood longing for exciting relics: an old hotel card, from a place in Greece. Apparently someone in the sixties (when my copy was printed) took it on vacation with him – maybe even to travel the places in the book?

The King Must Die was exactly what I needed. It follows Theseus's life – told in his own words – from his childhood in Troizen through his various wars and heroic deeds, up to the point when he sails home from Crete to Athens but flies the wrong color sails. I found it a surprisingly sophisticated tale, too – not just in Renault's use of real archaeological evidence to make her world real, but also in the attitudes of the characters, many of whom espouse a violent misogyny which she then peels back to reveal a surprising amount of tolerance for people different from themselves. It's a potently masculine book without being woman-hating.

As I read, I wondered why this book would be obscure now, why no one else I'd talked to had ever heard of it, including my college writing and literature professors. It was a visceral book in a decade when books which were considered “literature” were becoming more metatextual, or – in some cases, to be perfectly blunt, deliberately boring. John Updike was writing about suburban ennui and Jack Kerouac was writing about youthful wild adventures...as a cultural commentary. The King Must Die has many excellent literary qualities that make it worth study, but it's also unapologetically entertaining. Unlike many of the other highly respected or controversial authors of the day, she didn't expect the audience to come to her, but instead took the story to the audience. It's not without substance, however; its most powerful message, and its most complex one, is in the title itself: the king must die, over and over again in different ways throughout the entire book, carrying with each death a haunting lesson about what it means to be a leader.

I love Salinger and Cheever and several of Mary Renault's contemporaries who wrote more “difficult” fiction – fiction you had to think about to get into, fiction that wasn't all about making you feel good and giving you a break from reality. It's funny to think of her book coexisting with theirs, though I imagine she was shelved with the juicy genre-fiction books that kept sales churning, and perhaps was found less often in the hands of stoned beat poets in coffee shops. It's definitely a flawed book – sometimes she tries to hard to be poetic and ends up being incomprehensible – but one that I hope doesn't fade to total disappearance.